Talent shows - boooooring......

I'm so fed up of these "talent" shows on the telly. whether celebrity or Joe Public, whenever you turn on the TV these days there's another re-hash of some form of show where people battle it out for the "ultimate" goal. I can't even remember where it started - perhaps as far back as Opportunity Knocks, which unless you're as old as me you won't remember. But in those days it was only Opp Knocks, and only once a week - now it's endless with every TV channel trying to outdo the other or think of a new format.

Let's see: Bearing in mind I try not to watch any of these - I only get glimpses when daughter/wife/son is watching, I'm bound to miss loads out...

• Strictly Come Dancing
• The Strictly rival one that started when whats her chops (Arlene I think) was kicked off Strictly
  
• The X Factor
• Big Brother
  
• Britain's Got Talent
• That Choir one
• Andrew Lloyds Webber's Maria/Oliver/I forget the last one
• Some street dancing one was on recently
• All the public ones have a celebrity version and all the celebrity ones have a public version
  
• Top Model ones (a daughter previous favourite - think she saw the light with that drivel)
  
• And daughter's current fave....Don't stop believing
• There's cooking ones, jungle ones, singing ones, dancing ones, choir ones. Blimey, we'll have celebrity hairdressing competition next. Mind you, there's probably already one of those on one of the more obscure TV channels
  

There's tons more, but it hurts my head just thinking about them. They all seem to have a few things in common.

• There's a lot of distinctly untalented people on most of them, all of whom are under the delusion that they're the best thing since sliced bread.
  
• They all have a nauseating (and often supremely talentless) host
• The judges are getting increasingly less talented and increasingly less well known
• There's always one "nasty" judge"
  
• They all have that irritating pause when they announce "And the winner is......."
• They nearly all have an "off" for the worst two - dance off, sing off etc.
  
• The Joe Public contestants/groups nearly always have to find an increasingly subtle "twist" to make them stand out for the crowd
• They all go on for far too long (both in show length and episode run)
  
• Half of the winners disappear into fairly immediate obscurity
• The person/group who comes second is nearly always better/more talented than the winner

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate these type of shows. Oh, hang on, yes I do.

I can't wait for the football season to start. At least there'll be something worth watching....can't beat a dull 0-0 draw any day.