Monday, October 23, 2006

Do you ever wonder...

Sadly I can't take the credit for these ponderisms...

  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
  • Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  • Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Things that annoy me

What you must remember is I'm knocking 47, so could be classed as a grumpy middle aged git. Some things really get my goat. In no particular order of preference:
1. Queues (of any sort)
2. Middle lane hoggers on motorways. Should have their licences taken away.
3. Motorists who don't indicate. Ditto
4. Speed cameras (is there a theme developing here?)
5. Teaspoons. There's always one left when you empty the washing up bowl
6. Wind (weather wind as opposed to farts, which is just nature)
7. Unpunctuality. It's mostly just lazy
8. Lack of respect for the environment
9. Mondays, and to a lessening extent, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.

Saturday, October 14, 2006


This is useless - so busy doing other things haven't posted anything since April. If anyone was reading this blog, they've long since given up. I'm going to try again, and I WILL make an effort to post frequently.

First however dear reader, you'll need a quick catch up of events since April. Here goes:

  • Did lot's of gardening - enjoy gardening
  • Played some cricket - enjoy cricket
  • Built a website for my new cricket team Dinas Powys CC
  • Tweaked and edited said website a lot
  • Went on holiday to France - enjoy holidays
  • Went to Disneyland Paris whilst in France - enjoy rollercoasters
  • Bought wine whilst in France - enjoy wine
  • Did some decorating - hate decorating
  • Worked a lot - hate work
  • Watched Cardiff City climb to be 6 points clear at the top of the Championship (at the time of posting - Premiership here we come!
  • Watched in disbelief at England's poor showing in a) world Cup b) Euro 2008 qualifiers
  • Haven't won lottery - would like to win lottery
  • Enjoyed start to new skittles season DPAB